During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said,
"It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your
mind replied the author. Here's the answer.Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner.
You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture theexpression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive andspontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of beingtogether, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse'sidiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will noticea dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love anda much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/oryour partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as youreflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire thatexperience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person;it's learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their
unhappiness and look outside for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes
and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, ahobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer tothis dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I'mnot saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. AndTEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a fewyears later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeedingin a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love theperson you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. Andmost importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make itwork. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthings you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there arephysical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws forrelationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results arepredictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is upto you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who yourefuse to let GO!!
